19 February 2012

Anonymity, The Last in a Series

"Until that day comes when all of the universe conspire to make a way that would lead you to me, I will just be happy remembering the sound of your voice and your laughter." - Manila Bitch

We had gym together, after math. The only two classes we shared throughout high school. And although I spent 2 hours a day, 5 days a week with you for four years -- I wonder if you ever noticed me. You were really smart in arts and literature, which is why we only met in gym and math, and you were friends with all the girls. I wasn't very smart in much of anything but I played all the sports and was friends with all the guys. Our worlds were totally apart.

I wanted so many times to talk to you. When you won the school award for poetry in sophomore year. When you played Kurt in the school's production of the Sound of Music. Your voice was so sweet and your laughter on-stage unforgettable. When your painting won second place in the school art competition.

But I simply couldn't talk to you. Especially in our last year in high school. I thought I finally might introduce myself properly to you. But then some of the guys told me out on the court that it had been confirmed that you were a gay.

Then I really had no room to make any general introductions in our final year -- which was made more difficult by the fact that I had definitely fallen in love with you. And when we graduated, I remember getting the courage to go up to you to shake your hand to congratulate you. If only I could have told you how I really felt. But I couldn't. I could only hope that life would treat you kind, to give you joy and love in your life. And there, we parted ways. You went to UP. I went to Don Basco.

Those four years were even more challenging. There was no one really like you there. And although it was easy to get laid -- boy or girl -- it was difficult to find love. It didn't happen. I would remember all those years together but separate in math and gym. And the waters of life began to recede as college ended. For certain I thought I would eventually be forced to marry one of my mother's college friend's daughters.

To minimize the potential for interactions leading up to that -- including working for one of my uncles -- I decided to work at a call center at night. This worked out fine for a while as it allowed me to eliminate most social contacts I had compromised myself into accepting during college and minimized my interactions with my family. Then, the trainer-supervisors were rotated to the day shift and it was there that we again met.

I introduced myself coyly. With a knowing smile, you gracefully introduced yourself. No more anonymity, real or imagined. Without any hesitation, I asked you if you would join me for coffee after work -- to which, you agreed. And it has been happiness for us ever since. The end.

The Emo Blogger's Happy Blogging Challenge: Anonymity